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Life With Too Many Dogs

Life with too many dogs – this week’s edition:

MONDAY: I woke up to a 12 pack of toilet paper, completely shredded in my living room.

TUESDAY: I took my dog’s “invisible fence collar”, aka “electric fence collar”, to get the battery replaced. The guy replaced it for me, handed it to me, and I said thank you and I began to walk out. ZZZZZZZap! I GOT ZAPPED/SHOCKED/FELL DOWN ON THE GROUND YELLING “MY ARM HURTS”. Yep… I’d call that Karma. Sorry doggies.

WEDNESDAY: My UPS delivery guy asks why my middle dog is wearing a diaper. “Don’t judge.” I say.

THURSDAY, While vacuuming my living room, I rolled the vacuum over unseen dog poop, and thus “shmooshed it” into my rug. I then spent the next 2 hours trying to take apart and clean my brand new (yes, brand new) vacuum.

TODAY. Time for a cocktail.

They’re cute, but crazy!


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10 Things I Want My Daughter To Know

Below is a shared post from a fellow amazing mom on Scary Mommy

Right now my daughter is sitting in her pajamas. It is 3:30 on a snowy March afternoon and all she cares about at this moment is snuggling with her brother. Their heads are pressed together as they’re playing on her Kindle. I am pretty sure she is caught up in the moment. Her thoughts are not drifting. She does not care about boys, the size of her thighs, or if she has said the wrong thing today.

I wish she could stay this innocent, this pure, forever, but she can’t. She won’t. At 10 years old, she is on the cusp of so much—drama, boys, comparisons, trust, embarrassment, pressure, and other tumultuous situations that are unavoidable. It will all become very real, very soon. There is so much I want to tell her, and I will when the time is right. Here is what I need her to know:

1. Say ‘Fuck Off’ When It Needs to Be Said

Say it with your eyes. Say it with your actions. Say it in your head, or say it out loud. Say it by walking away. Say it however you want—just make sure you say it. Say it when you are overlooked. Say it when you are being disrespected. Say it when you are being judged. Say it when someone doesn’t treat you the way you know you deserve. Say it when someone puts their hands on you in a way that you don’t like. Say it. Make sure the person you are saying it to hears you loud and clear.

2. Know the Difference Between Desire and Value

When another person desires you, it does not always mean they value you. They may desire you so much you almost start to believe they value you, but these are two different things. If they value you, you will know it. If they don’t, you will know it.

Go ahead and kiss boys, but don’t kiss them if they are rude to you unless you want to kiss them. Never spend the night with someone who will not want you there in the morning unless you are fine with that arrangement as well.

3. Indulge

Buy the shoes, drink the coffee, have the wine, eat the chocolate, get the massage, use the good dishes, light the candle. Even if you are the only one to enjoy it, do it. There is no point in saving these things just for other people.

4. Don’t Worry About Your Thighs

Be healthy, practice moderation, and explore different physical activities. Eat real food that makes you feel alive and makes you want to do things that make you feel alive. Donuts aren’t capable of doing that. However, if you enjoy them every once in awhile, and then say, “That was nice, and now I am done with you,” donuts are wonderful. The size of your thighs (or any other body part) is not what matters in this one life we have. What matters is how we feel when we are here and how we make others feel. Focus on that.

5. Don’t Force It

If a smoky eye makes you look like you got into a bar brawl, just let it go. If you have a friend who makes you feel like shit or betrays your trust, let her go, too. Nothing should feel forced ever—not a dress, not a relationship, not a hobby. Most importantly, don’t ever try to convince someone of your worth. If they aren’t convinced all on their own, refer to number No. 1.

6. It Is OK to Be Vulnerable

If someone breaks your heart or ends a relationship with you and you are crushed, let it out in front of them if you want to. Don’t hold back: cry, scream, tell them everything you are feeling. If you are crushed, say it. Leave it all out there, then go. Don’t tell them again; they heard you the first time. Don’t hit up their phone after too many drinks. You said what you needed to say. Move on. Confide in girlfriends. Talk to me. If they want to come into your life again, they will show up.

7. Don’t Do Anything With Half Your Heart

Sometimes we have to do things with half of our heart—things like folding laundry or shopping for a vacuum cleaner. I am not talking about those things. I am talking about the big things: your career, whom you marry, where you live, your style, your friends. Do the big things with your whole heart, your whole self.

8. Be Responsible for Your Own Validation

You are amazing. Yes, you really are. I am your mother, so I will always believe this, but I want you to believe it too. Really believe it. Don’t wait for others to validate you. Even if they do but you don’t believe in your own awesomeness, it will never feel real to you.

9. Don’t Compare Yourself to Others

This is a hard one—maybe the hardest. The thing is, when we compare ourselves to others, more often than not, we are comparing our worst moments, our weaknesses, to their strengths. Remember that. Just because you have different strengths does not mean you are less-than.

10. Be Gentle

Be gentle on yourself. It can be very easy to believe something bad someone says about us—easier to believe than the compliments. Just remember what you believe is what you become. Love yourself enough to focus on your gifts, your strengths. Don’t beat yourself up just because you make a mistake. Instead, learn from it. Turn it into something positive.

Some of these things might only make sense to you after some hard lessons, and maybe some of these things you will just know. Either way, life is not easy. In my 40 years, I have found that when you get torn up a bit, when life isn’t cooperating, it is best to put on your favorite outfit, listen to some badass music, and fucking handle it.

And my advice in those times is to “ROCK ON BRAVE GIRL”.


10 Things I Want My Daughter To Know When Things Get Real

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When Life Freezes. Unforgettable Moments.

As a child, I remember hearing stories about “unforgettable moments in life”.  My mom told me about how events happen that are so memorable, they live with you forever.  Time freezes.  Her example was the assassination of JFK.  My mom told me about when she and her friends learned of his death, time froze.  Everyone who lived through that remembers where they were the moment they heard he was killed.

John Lennon’s death, The Challenger Space Shuttle Explosion, Jim Morrison’s death.  All were unforgettable moments in time.

As a little girl, I wondered when my unforgettable moment would come.

9/11, turned out to be THAT moment for me.


NYC; 9/11/2001:

Standing in my pajamas in my NYC apartment that morning, when all hell broke loose… well, that became MY unforgettable moment. There are no words to adequately explain the terror I felt when I realized that my city, the city where I lived, where I loved, where I grew into a woman, had been attacked.  The earthquake I felt when the towers tumbled…

In the end, we survived.  Some friends didn’t, but we did.  The images though, were so tough.  Neighbors and friends whose husbands didn’t come home, friends whose waited at Ground Zero for weeks to find traces of their loved ones… those moments haunt me to this day.  The burnt smell in the air for days, while we were locked-down and not able to leave the city.  The fighter jets that patrolled the city for days after.  The supermarkets with barren shelves. Those days are frozen in my mind.

So much sadness, disbelief, and many, many questions. I was a part of that city and I survived, so why didn’t all those innocent people?  It was a rough time, trying to maneuver the complex emotions and feelings of guilt, remorse, dismay.

 15 Years Later… 

I thought that day was one day.  But it wasn’t.  It’s a never-ending day.  It’s always there reminding me of how vulnerable we all are.  How precious life is.

And each and every year, I am transported back to the absolute terror I felt when I realized those planes had hit the towers, INTENTIONALLY.

I didn’t know it right away, but over time I realized that that day was my huge, unforgettable moment.  Life changed for me in a blink of an eye that day.  My security, my innocence, were gone forever.

And just like my mom told me I would… I discovered the moment that will be frozen in my mind forever.

9/11 is and always will be MY unforgettable moment.







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MOM HAIR – It’s Not The Prettiest

The Evolution of My Hair:


New Haven, CT – Circa 1980’s

Throughout my teens and 20’s, my hair was my favorite accessory.  I styled it for hours on end.  Crimped and spiral-curled to perfection.  Then well sprayed with Aqua Net, for a night out.  Can you tell I grew up in the `80’s?   My big hair was a thing of beauty.

Then I had kids.

And my brown turned to gray.  Nicely styled, turned messy.  And it’s been up in a ponytail ever since.  Or tucked under a baseball hat.

Once in a while, I try to blow-dry it like my hairdresser does and actually have pretty hair again… if just for a day  But those times are few and far between.  Usually, it’s just a pony-tail.  It’s the best I can do these days.

And although I love them a lot, I blame my kids for giving me MOM HAIR.

Because believe it or not, sometimes, I actually miss my big hair.







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“You’re The Meanest Mom In The World!”

Moms, I have a question for you…  Have you ever been called “the meanest mom in the whole world”?

If your answer is “no”, consider yourself lucky.  But I have to tell you… it’s probably coming.

If you’re like me (and most moms), and your answer is “yes”, well then, welcome to the club.  According to my kids, I’m the “worst”, the “meanest”, and every so often I get, “you’re the most embarrassing mom ever”.mean-mom

It’s taken some tears, some reading of parenting books, and some enlisting advice from fellow mom friends, but I finally determined that it actually means I am doing a good job.  (Or at least I have convinced myself that’s what it means!).

Those “you’re the meanest mom” comments are only yelled when a mom makes a very smart parenting decision.  For example, lay out a rule that will stop your child from doing something that could hurt them. Or get them kidnapped. Or lead them down a bad path…  You get the point. Basically, it’s when you are doing your job and your kids just don’t like hearing the word “NO”, that they will tell you how “MEAN” you are.  It’s tough to hear, but it really means you care.

So I’d like to take a moment to remind every mom or dad out there who hears they are “THE WORST” today, to remember it probably means you are actually THE BEST.

And please, keep up the good work!

If you need some tips about how to piss off your kids, while truly helping them become awesome humans, then read this… it’s pretty accurate…

12 Ways To Be The Meanest Mom

#MomsRule  #DadsRule  #KidsAreTough

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Women ROCK. And We Can Run A Country Too!

I’ve tried to stay out of the political “you-know-what-storm” (okay, the shit-storm), that has been going on.  But tonight I’m jumping in….  With a question.  And it’s a big question.

Why CAN’T a woman RUN a country like ours?

Women run corporations, families, large and small businesses.  Women are MORE than capable of leading a country.  But why has it been so hard for America to accept that fact?  Women are smart.  Women are tough.  Women are compassionate.  Women are leaders.  Women are STRONG.  All are qualities our country desperately needs right now from the next leader.

A female running a country is nothing new.  New for America?  Yes.  New for the world?  No.

Here is an eye-opening list of other countries’ female leaders….


Helle Thorning-Schmidt, Prime Minister of Denmark

Margaret Thatcher, Prime Minister of The United Kingdom

Yingluck Shinawatra, Prime Minister of Thailand

Angela Merkel, Chancellor of Germany

Cristina Fernández de Kirchner, President of Argentina

Dilma Rousseff, President of Brazil

Julia Gillard, Prime Minister of Australia

Ellen Johnson-Sirleaf, President of Liberia

Sheik Hasina Wajed, Prime Minister of Bangladesh

Johanna Sigurdardottir, Prime Minister of Iceland

Laura Chinchilla, President of Costa Rica

Tarja Halonen, President of Finland

Dalia Grybauskaite, President of Lithuania

Kamla Persad-Bissessar, Prime Minister of Trinidad and Tobago


What a list.  What an amazing contribution women have made to the world.

So please, please, please… ignore the fact that the BEST candidate is a female.  Forget it.  Completely.  And instead focus on the fact that we have an incredibly smart, capable, sharp, tough, mentally stable (and I don’t say that one lightly, especially in comparison to her competition!) …and STRONG candidate to vote for in November.

It’s simple: Women Rock.  There is no reason a woman can’t be in charge of our great nation.  Try and remember that through all this craziness.  Vote for the person, and their ability and skills.  Not for the fact that they are male or female.







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Life as a Mom of a Boy

I love having a son.  My son is sweet and loving and handsome, and the best part – he loves to snuggle!  Sweetness times ten.  I can’t get enough of him.  He’s seriously the best boyfriend I have ever had.

Boys are truly a blessing.  But… they can also be a bit of a challenge for moms.


Well, one reason – the PENIS!  It’s a hard thing for moms to understand.


Boys’ obsessions with their penis’ is something I can honestly say I will never understand.  It amazes me how many times a day I say:

“Do you have to go potty?”  “NO?”  “Then stop grabbing your weenie.”

“Why are your hands down your pants?”

“What’s going on down there?”

“Please put pants on – the neighbors can see you!”

“No – everyone doesn’t want to see you naked.”

I try to keep in mind the very wise advice a good friend of two boys once told me.  She said, “remember… for a boy, having a penis is like having a ‘built-in’ toy.  So why not play with it all day long?”.

Okay, I get that.  If I had a toy like that, I’d probably play with it too!  But there are so many times it’s slightly embarrassing to have a kid walking around with his hands down his pants!

Moms – tell us what you think about this! 



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The Gorilla Shouldn’t Have Been Killed, But It’s Not The Zoo’s Fault

A 17-year-old Silver Back Gorilla Was Shot and Killed at the Cincinnati Zoo After a Child Climbed Into His Enclosure.

I’m sure you’ve seen the headlines and the frightening video onlookers shot of the incident at the Cincinnati Zoo when officials were forced to shoot Harambe, a 17-year-old gorilla.  It’s all over the news.

Here’s a recap.



My personal feelings are that I’m so mad. And sad too.

First of all, I am an animal lover, and a parent of small kids. On the animal-lover side, I have some favorites:  dogs, cats, and gorillas.  Yes, gorillas rank right up there for me. They are amazing creatures. So human-like. Full of personality. I am amazed by gorillas. Our zoo has a great gorilla habitat where I can spend days just watching them. I once watched a momma gorilla snuggle her baby, just like a human mommy.  She was patting the baby gorilla’s back like she was burping her. I also watched a young gorilla (think teenager), pick his nose, eat it, and when the crowd watching him all yelled, “Ewwwww”, he belly-laughed, rolling on the ground and pointing at the crowd.  He then stood up and picked his nose again. He realized he had an audience.  Gorillas have compassion, love, and senses of humor.  They are amazing creatures.


Being a fan of gorillas, I probably don’t need to say why the situation that happened this weekend really upset me.  My first instinct was being very angry that they killed Harambe.  The first videos released were edited so “disturbing parts” weren’t shown.  But when the internet exploded with outrage, they released those.  And I’m glad they did because it makes it clearer that tranquilizing him wasn’t an option.  I’m not convinced he was going to hurt that child (at some points it looks like he’s actually protecting him).  But I can tell he freaked out that something fell into his home and he didn’t know what to do about it. The onlookers all screaming didn’t help the situation. He became agitated very quickly. And at that point he became unpredictable.  Unpredictable, but the fact is still that the gorilla did nothing wrong. NOTHING. He was a gorilla, simply being a gorilla, guarding his family and his home.

Unfortunately though, with a child’s life on the line, the zoo officials had no choice.

Jungle Jack Hanna agrees too…  Watch here.



“Seeing the entire video of him dragging the child is scary to watch and shows me that zoo officials had to come to a tough decision.  The unpredictability of the situation, with a child’s life in jeopardy, left them no choice.”


BUT, and here’s why I’m pissed…. the video doesn’t change a single thing about the fact that a kid at a zoo shouldn’t be able to go “under a rail, through wires and over a moat wall”, without his parents noticing.  As a parent myself, I am hesitant to ever judge another parent.  Ever.  We all love our kids and are doing the best we can.  And we’ve all had moments where we’ve screwed up.  But come on.  This one is tough to excuse.


Animal Biologist Jeff Corwin gave a great interview saying “a zoo is not a babysitter”, and that “parents have a responsibility to watch their kids everywhere they go”.  There are a lot of parents who don’t feel the weight of that responsibility.  It’s a different story if you lose sight of your kids at the local Piggly Wiggly. That has its own dangers.

At a zoo though, you are not only endangering your own children’s lives but the animals’ lives too.  And this weekend, an innocent animal’s life had to be taken because of that negligence. An endangered animal, who did NOTHING WRONG.

That’s the part that makes me sad.  It didn’t have to happen.  And it shouldn’t have happened.


I’m not the only person mad…

So far, nearly 100,000 supporters have signed up to a campaign on calling for the parents to be investigated after the child fell up to 12 feet into the enclosure. The petition reads: “This beautiful gorilla lost his life because the boy’s parents did not keep a closer watch on the child. We the undersigned believe that the child would not have been able to enter the enclosure under proper parental supervision.”

Also, Police are deciding whether to charge the parents with child neglect.


What do you think about this situation?  


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Happy Mother’s Day

Happy Mother’s Day to my fellow hard-working ladies.  We are the glue that holds it all together.  There is no glory in being a mom.  It’s an under-appreciated, messy, dirty, thankless job.  And we do it for no pay.  But it’s also the best job in the world. A smile, a kiss, a proud mommy moment…  those moments make the tough days bearable.

Make sure you celebrate the mom in your life and also celebrate yourself today.

Sleep in, read a good book, do no dishes, no laundry, no cooking, no taxi-driving…  JUST RELAX!  (Don’t worry – the mess will still be waiting for you tomorrow!)

Happy Mom’s Day!



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Maternity Leave Is Not a Vacation



Everything about this ridiculous book makes me want to scream.

She says, “After 10 years of working in a job where I was always on deadline, I couldn’t help but feel envious when parents on staff left the office at 6 p.m. to tend to their children, while it was assumed co-workers without kids would stay behind to pick up the slack.”

That’s Bulls#&t!

I had a 15-year career in the television industry and I either had to continue working my regular 60-70 hours a week after I had kids, or choose to give up my career. Those were my two choices. No one was “okay” with me leaving at 6pm just because I became a mom. So I abandoned my hard-earned career because when confronted with the choice between career and my baby, my baby won.  And my career was done.

As a mother, I can’t understand how this woman can tell the world that when women have babies, they get a “vacation” to take care of their babies.  They get “ME TIME”.  That’s a laugh.  It’s completely NOT true.

Motherhood is not a break.  It’s not “ME TIME”. It’s the complete opposite.  Everything during those first few months, is blindly focused on the baby you gave birth to.  “Me” is an after-thought.  “Me” is neglected.  “Me” is forgotten.

Not to mention that motherhood F#@ks up careers, and it’s the farthest thing from a vacation you can imagine.

But yet this author has decided she is entitled to “Me-ternity”, like our “Ma-ternity”.  To take care of herself.  Alone.

Moms dream of having 5 minutes ALONE!  She is clueless.  And the idea of “ME-ternity” is beyond ridiculous.

So… I’ve decided that her punishment for writing this book should be that she needs to actually take MATERNITY LEAVE and to take care of a baby for that entire time. No sleep, no showers, no pee’ing alone, no pooping alone, no doing anything alone. And certainly no “ME-TIME”.

What do you think?  I am sure that she’ll be singing a different tune after that.

And I think she’ll owe a lot of hard-working moms an apology!



Read about her here –

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