Parenthood is full of dilemmas. Moments when you have to choose one path over another.
My dilemma today was a big one – TO PEE OR NOT TO PEE?
I’ll explain.
We took a trip to the beach today. The kids and I drove there and I drank a giant cup of tea on the way (you’ll understand this detail in a minute).
The three of us arrived, and schlepped all our beach “stuff” (which is A LOT when you bring kids), and settled ourselves on a perfect spot of the beach. It was then that I realized I needed to go to the bathroom. I blame the big cup of tea!
So I gathered both kids and we walked across the beach to the bathroom.
We were all about to enter the “Women’s Room” when my son suddenly stopped. He read the sign and yelled, “WAIT! I’m a boy with a penis, I am NOT going in the girl’s bathroom. NO, NO, NO!”. “NO – WAY – JOSÉ!” (yep he yelled that!).
First I “sshhhhshh’d him. Because honestly, all I heard was him screaming the word “penis” and I could only imagine what other beach-goers thought he was yelling about.
Then I calmly explained that of course he could come in the women’s room with me like he always does. I said, “Mommy has to use the potty and you have to come in with me and wait”.
Nope. He refused to budge. He kept yelling, “I am not a woman, I’m a MEN, I go to the MEN’S ROOM”.
On the one hand, I understood his complaint… He is getting bigger. He feels like a man who belongs in the “Men’s” Room.
But understand my side… he is a little kid and is not old enough to go into a public restroom alone, or be left outside alone. Either option is just not safe.
It was either Women’s Room, or nothing.
Now we have a dilemma.
For 10 minutes, we discussed it calmly. We stood in the doorway. Me almost peeing my pants, and he absolutely refusing to come in with me.
I even started doing the potty dance. He still wouldn’t budge.
It was a true dilemma. I couldn’t leave him alone outside at a crowded beach, and I couldn’t drag him in with me.
So what did I do? I decided to bargain with him.
I offered him a lollipop, candy, an ice cream cone? No, not enough.
I offered unlimited iPad usage that evening. Nope. Still wasn’t enough.
“How about a new Thomas train?”, I said. (Please don’t judge… I really had to pee!).
He thought about that one for a minute… A new train????????
I saw a slight shift in that stubborn face he had been maintaining so well. Finally… He said YES! He agreed he would come in the Women’s Room if I’d get him a new train (trains are definitely the way to my son’s heart).
And of course, I said okay.
Call it what you like… bargaining, using persuasive measures, bribing… Whatever it was, it worked. I got to pee. And he got a train.
Dilemma solved.
In my eyes, it was a win-win. I even felt proud for a moment.
Until… walking away from the bathroom, I realized I now have a new dilemma. How to avoid having to buy my son a new train every time I need to go to the bathroom.
Uh Oh.
My big dilemma is always if I have to pee badly enough to stop at a gas station, get both (soon to be three) kids out of their carseats, and lug them all inside to pee. The struggle is real!
I know! The car seat struggle is very real!!! My kids have both learned to buckle themselves into their booster seats now, and I can’t tell you what a difference it makes for me! So hang in there – yours will be there soon too!
Stories like this that make me very glad I have two daughters. I feel for you! My eldest daughter is five and we’re now working on letting her go to the bathroom in known public places on her own (ie: the gym, McDonalds etc…) sometimes I still have to come in and check on her so I feel your pain here. Hopefully you figure out a way to avoid an impressive train collection!
Thanks for sharing! I agree that it’s easier with me to let my daughter go in alone too. Isn’t that sad that it’s scary to let a boy into the men’s room alone?
Ha! I found myself bribing my son to go to the potty the other day at a fair, because I knew he was about to fall asleep in his stroller and would inevitably pee in it (since he hadn’t gone all morning). I felt terrible doing it but pretty happy when he actually peed on the potty. Sometimes a mom’s gotta do what a mom’s gotta do 🙂 Thanks for linking up at the Manic Mondays blog hop!
I think we should just start calling them “incentives”, not bribes!!! lol Thanks for visiting!