Top 5 Parenthood Jokes

Take a minute out of your busy day to laugh. Out loud.

Daily life for every parent includes tons of stressful moments. Sometimes it’s hard to see the humor in the chaos, but you really have to try. Otherwise you’ll lose your mind.

So to help you maintain your sanity, I thought I’d share my Top 5 parenting jokes so you can find your funny today. Remember, laughing is always better than crying!



A 3-year old daughter walked over to her father, stuck out two of her fingers and said, “Daddy, look at this.”

Immersed in his computer, but wanting to keep her entertained, the dad reached out and stuck her tiny fingers in his mouth and, pretending to eat them, said, “Daddy’s gonna eat your fingers!”

A few minutes later he noticed his daughter was standing just staring at her fingers with a devastated look on her face.

The dad said, “What’s wrong, honey?”

She replied, “What happened to my booger?”


911cellphoneJOKE #2

A man calls 911 and yells frantically into the phone, “My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes apart!”

“Is this her first child?” the doctor asks.

“No, you idiot!” the man shouts. “This is her husband!


Two kids are talking to each other. One says, “I’m really worried. My dad works twelve hours a day to give me a nice home and good food. My mom spends the whole day cleaning and cooking for me. I’m worried sick!”

The other kid says, “What have you got to worry about? Sounds to me like you’ve got it made!”

The first kid says, “What if they try to escape?”

JOKE #4beachblackandwhite

A four-year-old boy and his father went to the beach. There was a dead seagull lying on the sand.

The boy asked his father, “Dad, what happened to the birdie?”

His dad told him, “Son, the bird died and went to heaven.”

The boy asked, ‘”And God threw him back down?”



A preschool class went on a field trip to the fire station. The firefighter giving the presentation held up a smoke detector and asked the class: “Does anyone know what this is?”

One little boy’s hand shot up and the firefighter called on him.

The boy replied: “That’s how Mommy knows supper is ready!”


~Cindie xo


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