There’s no question about it: friends make life better. I have been blessed with a group of friends I cherish. We stick together through thick & thin. If I am sad, worried, happy, elated, scared, terrified, in-need of a new recipe, or looking for a good book to read… they are the ones I reach out to. They’re always there when I need them. And I try to always be there for them too.
BUT… Friendships take work. Just like anything good in life. You need to give time & energy to grow and maintain each friendship you have. The good news is that if you do that, you will find that your friendships will enrich your life in countless ways.
HOW TO TEACH SOMEONE TO BE A GOOD FRIEND:
I talk to my daughter often about the value of true friendships. She’s going through the tough tween years when it’s easy to get annoyed with a friend and drift apart. Or fight about who is better friends with who. Or try to fit into a group. At her age, it sometimes seems like an easier solution to focus on what will make YOU happy, rather than cultivating a genuine friendship. Some kids get cast aside. Some kids exclude other kids. Some are left to find their own way. It’s a tough age to try to navigate how to be a good friend. So what I have told her is that she needs to watch out for her classmates. And if there’s anyone who seems to be swimming alone, throw out that pool floatie and pull them back to shore. I tell her, “If someone hurts your feelings, give them a chance to explain why they did what they did. Maybe they didn’t realize they hurt your feelings. Also, if a friend disagrees with you, ask them to explain their side. Maybe your eyes will be open to a new perspective.” Just maybe.
So why is it important to me to teach her this? And why is it so important for her to have friends?
Because it’s difficult to get through life alone. Can you do it? Sure. But great friends make life so much easier. And so much fuller. Just knowing there is someone you can rely on, is an immeasurable bonus. Knowing there is someone out there who will stick up for you, and be there for you, and help you out when you need it most, and just love you….that is huge.
While I’ve learned that friendships take patience, perseverance, and sometimes hard-work, I’ve also learned that every effort you put into treasuring a great friendship, you will get back ten-fold! ALL friendships need compassion and love. But if you give that, the reward is that you will get all of that back, a thousand times over.
So this is my advice to my daughter about friendships:
-
Know the huge value of a friend. Their value will surpass anything you can buy!
-
Never take a friend for granted. They don’t have to be there for you. They are there for you because they love you. So appreciate that they are there.
-
Find friends every step of the way. You don’t need to make all your friends by middle school… new friends will come into your life at all stages. Don’t turn any of them away.
-
Embrace each friend, no matter how long they stay in your life. Some friendships may be short-term; others will stand the test of time and stick. But all friendships are important and have potential. So cherish each one.
-
Always be a good friend.
♥