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IN THE NEWS LAUGHTER PARENTHOOD

The Dark Side of Slime

By now, you must have heard about the slime craze. It’s the past year’s trendiest hobby. Kids all over the world are making their own slime. Google “DIY Slime” and you will find slime recipes, tips, and videos. It’s also a huge topic on social media pages. There are literally thousands of Instagram “slime” accounts. Maybe more. Shop on Etsy, and you can actually buy slime other kids made. Like I said, it’s a huge craze.

I can see why. Slime is easy to make, and fun to play with.

The Simple Steps to Make Slime:

Mix Elmer’s Glue with Borax. Maybe throw in a little food coloring…  mix it up, and voila! You have SLIME.

There are varieties of slime too. Just add an extra ingredient, and you can also craft varieties like Butter Slime, Crunchy Slime, Floam Slime, Puffy Slime, Jiggly Slime, Glitter Slime…  the list is pretty much endless.

It’s stretchy, gooey, colorful, squishy, and well… just plain SLIMY. Sounds like fun, right?

Well… yes, it IS fun. But there is also a dark side to slime that moms don’t often talk about.

The Dark Side of Slime:

First, the MESS. Take a peek in your little ‘creator of slime’s’ “SLIME LAB”, and you will see exactly what I mean.

When you do, your feelings about this fun slime hobby will take a nosedive downhill. Saying it’s messy is like saying kittens are “sort of okay-looking”. Messy is a giant understatement. Sticky, gooey stuff gets dried up on every surface. Glue is spilled, left to dry & harden. And the floor… covered in goop. I’m pretty sure I let out a scream the first time I saw the mess.

My first concern was safety. So I researched and discovered that the basic ingredients are deemed “safe” by many pediatricians. Bummer… I was kind of hoping I’d have a good medical reason why I had to ban slime.

I have to admit I was slightly torn between my hatred for slime and the fact that it could be educational. Some see making slime as a “science experiment”, and “creative”, and hey, let’s face it, making slime is definitely much better than having my tween staring at an iPhone.

So I decided to let her continue with her slime-making quest, but I set some rules. My first rule was to limit the making of slime to one room in the house. Unfortunately, the only available location happened to be my home-office. Bad choice, because the very next day, I discovered slime had oozed off my desk and into my filing cabinet. It had oozed into my stapler. Oozed into my file of “bills to file” (okay, maybe that one wasn’t so bad). But still… oozing slime is bad.

Then… on my way out of my office, I stepped on a pile of raspberry, glitter, galaxy, floam slime and tracked it through the house.

That was officially a bad day.

I went to sleep and had slime-filled nightmares that night. The next morning, I decided that the slime would be limited to ONE TABLE in my office. I felt happy with my decision. I wasn’t stifling my kids’ creative spirit, just helping to keep it in one spot and limit the mess.

Well… that rule lasted for a week. The one table was demolished. Every nook & cranny of it was covered in slimy ooze.

Still, I was on the fence about saying no more slime.

UNTIL… that one day when my daughter begged me to bring just one small container of slime with her on a long car ride we were taking. I agreed. But the next day, when I discovered frozen slime, oozed into my car’s back door compartment. Scraping it out with a butter knife (and silently saying a lot of bad words)… I made the decision.

SLIME IS BANNED.

Officially banned. “Not in my house”, is what I yelled. Not.In.My.House.

 

 

#GoodbyeSlime #SorryNotSorry

#TheDarkSideOfSlime

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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LAUGHTER PARENTHOOD

Funny Parenthood Moment: College Student or Street Musician?

PARENTHOOD MOMENT:

I love funny moments like these…  while on the verge of falling asleep, my son was doing some deep-deep thinking about his future. We’ve been explaining college to him, and why studying & doing well in school is so important. I guess he has a better idea. He came padding down the stairs to tell me he had decided something…

 

 

Honestly, he made me realize that kids actually have the best ideas. I’d much rather be a subway musician than the alternatives… I wonder how much money I could collect in my hat?

 

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LAUGHTER LIFE PARENTHOOD

Creating The Perfect Holiday Card: Moments of Parenthood Chaos

Each year when the holidays roll around, life feels magical, and I feel like a kid again.

Thanksgiving is the official kick-off to our holiday season. The day after Thanksgiving… it’s game on. The house gets decorated. The tree put up and filled with ornaments. The stockings are hung. The pine-scented candles are lit.

But… as much as I love preparing for the holidays, it’s the smaller holiday moments that fill my heart each year.

Moments like taking my daughter to see The Nutcracker ballet. And enjoying our town’s annual Holiday Stroll. Also, taking the kids to NYC to see the Rockefeller Center tree, watch the Rockettes, and ice skate in Central Park. Those moments are cherished ones.

BUT, there is one annual holiday moment that I dread…   Capturing our holiday card PHOTO.

It is so much harder than it should be!

When our little family consisted of just me & my husband, our holiday card routine was simple: I bought pretty cards. I signed both our names. I mailed them. Easy.

Then everything changed: we adopted a dog.  So we had to announce to everyone that our family had grown. We decided that our new dog should be featured on our card that year. And featured she was!  With Christmas lights (yes, they were plugged in, because LED lights didn’t exist back then!). And yes, she was also wearing a Santa hat.  Poor girl. But look at how cute she looked.

 

WE DIDN’T REALIZE THAT WOULD BE THE EASIEST PHOTO TO CAPTURE

That one photo took us a ridiculously long time to take. Looking back, I can’t believe I thought it was difficult with one dog.

Or difficult with just one baby (who arrived a year later).  Because when our second baby came, all hell broke loose when we attempted a holiday card photo shoot. I mean, chaos, times 1,000. Our toddler refused to sit next to a screaming baby.  So the baby screamed louder.  Then, the baby looked like we were beating him and so the photo shoot had to be postponed. Snack break for the kids. Beer & wine break for mom & dad.

 

THESE ARE THE OUTTAKES FROM THAT DAY

They both look so happy, don’t they?

Fast forward an hour:  Both kids were finally calm again, and bonus, their holiday outfits were also still clean. So we put them in position, and our toddler suddenly said she needed food, “Mommy, I starving.” “MOOOOOOMMMMMMY!, I want to eat.” So we took another “time out”.

Fast forward 30 minutes: Mommy & Daddy had officially lost their minds. Photo-shoot over.

ONE WEEK LATER

My husband and I decided that maybe we should take a little time between torture (I mean, photo) sessions.  So our photo shoot was postponed until the following weekend.

When it was time again, my husband and I cheered each other on, almost like we were planning a bank heist:

“You got this”

“You too…  You can do it”

“I’ll dangle the toys, you snap the photos, and I’ll get out of there FAST”

Then we chest-bumped, yelled, “GO”, and headed in to take the pictures.

AND…

FINALLY, we captured smiles!

 

Don’t be fooled by those smiles though. The little rugrats tortured us again. Those cute smiles were probably the 185th photo we took that day! But hey, we got our card photo!

LESSONS LEARNED

That same chaos has occurred, pretty much every year since our family was born. In the years since, we’ve added 2 more dogs to the family, so it’s gotten even harder for everyone to sit still.

BUT… what has also happened is that we’ve learned to actually appreciate the chaos of holiday card photo shoots. We may even enjoy them a little.

Why? Because we realized that our kids are growing up way too fast, and someday we will miss these chaotic moments of parenthood! Our photo shoots are just another reminder to try to cherish all the precious moments, even the crazy ones!

 

 

 

 

 

 

SOME RECENT OUTTAKES:

 

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LAUGHTER LIFE

That Lightbulb Moment When….

Life is full of moments, big and small.

 

Here at Moments Big and Small, we celebrate and share all of life’s moments.

Today, we’re sharing a “lightbulb moment”. What’s a lightbulb moment? It’s when you say, “oh wow… how true”! Here is one of our favorites…

 

“Life isn’t perfect, but life IS full of perfect moments.”

 

Some days may be tougher than others and feel like they are far from perfect. They may be bad! But even those tough days have their perfect moments. It’s just a matter of recognizing them. Sometimes you have to search for them. If you do, you will find them.

So, today we’re reminding you to keep your eyes open for all those perfect moments, even if your day sucks! And if your day sucks, at least the weekend is almost here!  ♥

 

 

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LAUGHTER LIFE

My First Time Hosting Thanksgiving

The holidays are certainly full of moments, both big and small.

Full of fun, full of stress, full of warmth, full of too much food, too many desserts. Never too full of love though.  No matter how you spend the holidays, remember to embrace each moment.

A holiday moment I’ve learned to embrace is this one:

 

MY FIRST TIME AS A GROWN-UP HOSTING THANKSGIVING

It was several years ago. My husband and I decided to host Thanksgiving at our new house, which we had recently purchased. We were newly married.  I was three months pregnant. Neither of us had ever cooked a turkey. Overall, not a good combo, but I was excited to give it a try. In the weeks leading up to it, however, I was worried about the fact that I was suffering horrible morning sickness and had trouble being anywhere near the smell of food. My husband told me he’d be there for me if I couldn’t stay in the kitchen. So I planned and prepared. I was nervous about taking on such a huge meal but I felt excited about the challenge.

BUT THEN… (and this is where a big moment occurred), two days before Thanksgiving my husband came home with a second turkey and said he wanted to try to smoke a turkey too. My first reaction was “That’s great – more turkey”.  My second reaction was “Why do we need more turkey when I already have a 25 lb turkey brining?”  And my third reaction was “You’re kidding me, right?  I’m pregnant, nauseous, throwing up, exhausted, my ankles are already swollen, and oh yeah, I have no idea how to cook one turkey, let alone TWO”.  I kept that all in my head though. Out loud, I said, “Okay, great…  but I may need some help in the kitchen.”  He said, “Honey, don’t worry. I can cook everything if you aren’t feeling good that day. I got it”.  Alright. What could I say?  I was a new wife, with a new challenge. I thought, “I can do this”.

UNTIL… Thanksgiving Day. I woke up and it was POURING RAIN.  Which meant the outdoor smoker needed to be watched.  Which meant, there stood my husband, with an umbrella over it. All morning. For hours!  Which meant I was left inside with the turkey, gravy, sweet potatoes, mashed potatoes, stuffing (two kinds), green beans, broccoli casserole… and don’t forget, I was feeling completely nauseous.  The only “plus” was that the desserts were already made.

BUT… It all worked out. HOW?  Because of the big & small moments throughout the day…

THE BIG MOMENT:

The entire meal was heading toward disaster, but my mother-in-law jumped in like a super-hero!  She helped us cook everything. I mean everything. There would have been no food on the Thanksgiving table that year if it wasn’t for her. Her experience and sense of calmness (and humor), were invaluable. Literally, she saved the day. Big moment.

THE SMALL MOMENTS:

My husband’s brother stood in the rain the entire day with him.  Yes, they had a lot of beer to keep them company, but still… I was happy my husband had some company out there.

My niece & nephews showed me what I had to look forward to… they behaved so well. They had patience, had fun… they showed me that my own children would make holidays even more fun.

Pre-ordering desserts from a local bakery…  SMART CHOICE!

The smoked turkey actually tasted even better than the big turkey. But please, don’t tell my husband I said that!

Try to embrace all the moments of the holiday!

Happy Thanksgiving!

 

 

 

 

 

 

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LAUGHTER LIFE PARENTHOOD

Just Another Ordinary Week

What’s an ordinary week in the life of a mom?

Mostly it’s boring.  Monotonous.  Mundane.  Same old same old.

Then there is a week like this one…

MONDAY:  Mom wakes up in the morning, to total darkness. She panics. What time is it & why is everything dark?  She discovers the power is out & it’s 9 AM.  CRAP!  That means both kids are late to school.  Frantic, she gets the kids out of bed, gets them dressed & out the door.  Kids are late & then mom is extra late to work.

TUESDAY: Son wakes his mom up saying his throat has a frog in it.  He says he wants to go to school though.  So he goes. Until 10 AM when the school nurse calls and says he needs to come home because he threw up. Son comes home sick as a dog, and mom loses another day of work. Plus gets thrown up on.

WEDNESDAY: Mom wakes up to son standing next to her bed saying his tummy hurts again, then he vomits on her & all over her bed.  This almost makes mom vomit too. She holds it together and calls in sick to work, strips the kid, throws him the tub, strips the bed & starts washing the sheets.  UNTIL… the washer starts making strange noises and stops. SHIT.

THURSDAY: The morning alarm buzzes. Mom hits “snooze” approximately 8 times. She is exhausted.  She finally got into bed late last night after the appliance repairman came & fixed the washing machine.  Just in time because everything smells like vomit.  Good news though: sick son feels better. But bad news: Tween daughter wakes up yelling that she’s done with school. She says she is smart enough and doesn’t need school anymore.  An hour-long argument ensues.  Mom spends way too long persuading her to get out of bed, brush her teeth, and get dressed. Mom doesn’t need this particular battle, after the week she’s had. Finally, Mom goes to work, but can’t stop thinking about her how much worse the tween hormone-filled years are going to get.

FRIDAY: The weekend is almost here. YES!  She gets out of bed & smells something bad.  She goes in search of that smell and discovers the dog is now sick, all over the bed, bathroom AND bedroom rugs.  The washing machine can’t take anymore vomit.  Mom can’t take anymore vomit. Mom yells (quite loudly), “WHEN WILL THIS WEEK BE OVER????”

SATURDAY:  Mom wakes up and thinks, “YES!  The week is over”. The house is quiet. Kids are still asleep. Dogs asleep. Peace at last.  Suddenly, a knock at the front door sends her running to answer it before anyone wakes up. It’s Fed-Ex (at 6:30 AM???)… they need a signature.  So she creeps out onto the front porch in her pj’s and slippers, trying not to make any noise that will wake up the zoo inside her house.  Success.  She signs it, says “Happy Weekend” to the nice Fed-Ex driver, and turns around to go back inside. NOOOOOOO!… the door is locked.

SUNDAY: Mom wishes for next week to be an actual boring, mundane, ordinary week…

 

Share your ordinary weeks with us!

 

 

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LAUGHTER LIFE PARENTHOOD

Who Needs an Alarm Clock Anymore?

Like most moms, I don’t need an alarm clock because every morning I get a specialty wake-up call. Reserved only for parents…It’s called “The Kid Alarm”.

WHAT IS A “KID ALARM”?

First, it’s different from a “Baby Alarm”. Every new parent has to readjust to waking up when their babies do. I struggled through that phase and it eventually turned me into a very light sleeper.  Ever since the “Baby Alarm” days, I now hear every peep.  Every snore.  Every creak.  If something wakes me up during the night, it’s hard for me to fall back to sleep.  Which makes mornings even harder, for a non-morning person like me.  I spent a couple of LONG years dreaming of a day when my kids would regularly sleep later than 6 AM.  But instead, what happened was that once my kids started walking and talking, they could wake up as early as they wanted and come find me. And by “early”, I mean EARLY. So the “Baby Alarm” turned into the much worse “Kid Alarm”.  In hindsight those baby years, when they were trapped in their cribs… well, those nights were easier.

SO WHAT DOES A KID ALARM SOUND LIKE?

Loud. Startling. Occasionally it makes me fall out of bed yelling, “I’M AWAKE, I’M AWAAAAAAKE!”  And because it’s usually the first thing I hear each morning, it’s always “alarming”.  No pun intended.  Unless the dogs beat them to it (we have 3 dogs, so it’s a competition, but most days the kids win). Which means I am woken up by a sweet face (or 2), asking ridiculous questions, making very loud noises at me (“PIKA, PIKA, PIKA-CHUUUUUUUU-Squawk” – true story!), jumping on my head, or sometimes just continuously tapping on my forehead.  Sort of like water-boarding. These wake-up calls are usually not a good way to start the day.

A while ago, I began writing down the different things said to me by my “kid alarm”. (Also  known as “A perpetual pattern of ‘HOLY CRAP, IT’S MORNING & SOMEONE IS YELLING AT ME’ mornings).

I’m sure many of my fellow moms can relate, so I thought I’d share mine so you can all have a good chuckle…

P.S.  I do realize that someday soon my kids will begin sleeping later and later, and I will actually miss these wake-up calls.  But for now, I am trying to see the humor in them by embracing them and trying to laugh and not cry (at 5 AM).

 

Here is a sample of my recent morning “Kid Alarms” (unfortunately, these are all VERY real):

 

“Mommy, I lost my Thomas train, it’s somewhere in the toilet”.

“Mom, HELP!  I can’t find my soccer cleats!” [at 6 am, and they aren’t needed until 3 days later]

“MOMMA?  UH OH. I just stepped in something squooshy that smells like poop.  It’s probably not poop.  Or maybe it’s poop.  What do you think it is?  Smell it.”

“It’s so dark.  Do you think the moon is sleeping too?” [at 3 am]

“How does the moon sleep?  Does it have eyes that close?  Or a bed?  Mommy, how?” [at 3:30 am]

“Are you awake?” [as my eyelids get pulled open] “Because I see your eyeball, so I think you’re awake.”.”See, I told you you’re awake.” [AT 4 am]

“Where’s my iPad?”

“Where’s my iPad?”

“Where’s my iPad?”

“Momma, is it morning yet?” [at 4:30 am]

“Maaa-mmmmmm!  I’m so hungry, I’m gonna STARVE”  [at 5 am]

“YUK…  a dog threw up in my room. What’s for breakfast? I’m hungry.”

“Wake up, wake up, wake up, WAAAAAAAA-KE UPPPPPPPPP” [that’s always a fun one to hear.  I usually yell back “No, No, Nooooooooooo!”]

“Where’s my iPad?” (notice a pattern?)

“Mommy, I had a dream and there was a dog and a cat and a fish and a rabbit and they were talking to each other and they said hi, and they all had purple hair, and they were eating breakfast, and….   Mom? Mom??? MOM???  Did you fall back to sleep?” [Uh, yes… I did]

“Mommy, mom, momma, ma, mom, mommy, ma mommy, momma…” [and that continues until I speak. And trust me, you don’t want to know what I speak after that!].

“Where’s my iPad?”  (OMG… I can’t even…)

 

So what do your morning moments look like?  Comment below.

 

 

FINAL THOUGHTS:

To anyone contemplating having children, a bonus is that you will not need an alarm clock for MANY, MANY years!

 

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LAUGHTER PARENTHOOD

White Lies Moms Tell

Honesty is important. It’s a deal breaker for me. It’s essential for me to teach my children the importance of honesty. However… and this is a huge, however. My only exception for full honesty… is when parenthood calls for a simple white lie. There are times it is necessary. Innocent, but necessary.

I know all moms have told white lies to their kids. And I want them to know that they are not alone. So I decided to confess a few of mine…

#1  I hide my Swedish fish.

I eat them when the kids are in bed. I learned quickly that if my kids see my stash, it’s mayhem. Begging and pleading for just one Swedish fish. Then I end up with an empty bag. So now I hide them. And when they ask if there’s any candy in the house, I say “not that I can recall”.

#2  I call Tofu “cheese”.

When my kids were young, they both went through a phase of intense dislike of every type of meat.  It’s a texture thing, and pretty common.  I tried my best to get them to eat chicken, turkey, hamburgers, anything.  But they refused. Worried about them not getting enough protein, I finally resorted to alternating between scrambled eggs (which they did like), & “tofu cheese”.  They were cheese fans and thought it was just another type of cheese.  To this day, cubed tofu cheese is a yummy snack to them (I don’t get it, it’s tasteless! But I was happy to get some extra protein in them).  Thankfully the meat-free stage was short-lived for both of them, but the tofu “cheese” helped me get through it.

#3  I fib about what time it is.

Before my kids knew how to tell time, I occasionally fibbed about what time it was. Kids never want to go to bed. Those nights when they absolutely refused to head to bed?  Yep, I fibbed about it maybe being 7 pm, instead of 6 pm! Winter is a bonus because it is dark early, so they had no clue they were going to bed at 6 pm. Hey, don’t judge if you haven’t tried it.  It’s GREAT!

#4  I continued to fib about the time.

Once my kids learned to tell time, I actually resorted to changing some of the clocks in our house, specifically the ones in their bedrooms.  The only important tip is that you have to change the clock back before the morning or they will get up too early!

#5  I invented “the seatbelt police”.

My kids think “seatbelt police”.  There was a stage when they refused to buckle into their car seats. Or worse, they tried to unbuckle when I was driving. So I told them there are “seatbelt police”, who watch for kids that aren’t buckled, and they’ll get a ticket.  This isn’t really a lie because it IS a law.  And as any parent knows, kids are happier to behave for anyone besides their own parent!  I was so proud when I overheard my son tell his friend “make sure you buckle up or the seatbelt police will stop us”.

 

So sometimes I think it’s okay to fib.  Sometimes.

 

Share with us:  What white lies you have told your children?

 

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